TQG 38. Confrontation

“We’re going in hot, boys and girls.  We don’t have time to wait for backup if we’re going to complete this challenge quest.  Ranged Dee Pee Ess, keep an eye on our sixes for any griefers, call out if anyone not in the guild approaches the battle zone.  Assume they are hostile and Pee Kay them as soon as they come into range.  The boss is a mid-sized rock golem.  Special abilities unknown, tactics unknown, everything unknown.  Estimated threat level Aye.  Adjust your damage profile accordingly before engaging.  Assume resistance to fire, lightning, slashing and piercing damage.  Assume weakness to frost, water, and blunt slash resonating damage.  We’re doing this short staffed and without cover, so bring your aye game.  Yes that was intentional, yes it was a terrible pun.  Yes, I know.  Yes.  Because it deals pun-itive damage, that’s why.  Everyone not present, you better hurry your asses if you want to get credit for the kill.  Prepare for pull in five, four, three --”

“Do you think he forgot that he has the broadcast charm equipped?” Tarisha asked me.  “I think all of that was meant for raid chat.”

“Shh, I need to see this,” I said.  After waiting for my entire life, I was finally going to see my father and <The Endolphins> in battle.  Despite the circumstances, this was literally a dream come true.

“What do you mean I left the – oh.”

After his last words, I could not hear my father anymore.  I could watch, however, as he and his forces charged forward.  More than half of his thirty or so followers followed him as they headed straight towards the beast itself, leaping from the back of their mounts onto the giant golem.  Some of the mounts disappeared into puffs of smoke or mist, others reared away and flew off into the skies.

The twelve raid members who did not land on the golem landed nearby and began using various forms of magic.  Many began casting ice spells or inflicting water damage with high-pressure water jets.  Those who had access to neither spell instead faced outward, searching for ‘griefers’ from the encircling players.  Nobody challenged <The Endolphins> for their claim, however.

The giant stone golem roared in outrage upon being covered with raiders.  Father himself landed right next to Malkios, pulling a warhammer of his own from his inventory and smashing the golem’s giant head from the opposite side.  Others clung to the enemy’s body, while several crawled through the holes that had once been windows to the guard tower.  The golem began smashing at the pests with its giant arms.  The raiders who had landed inside the golem’s reach leapt from their perch to the ground below and began harassing its feet, while those who clung to its back or other safe spaces continued to smash the rock beneath them.

They were not simply trying to inflict physical damage.  Rather, they were driving chisels into the golem; pins from which hung ropes long enough to trail behind the enemy.  Before very long, those who had fallen were skillfully climbing back up, and many were disappearing into the windows.  In fact, before very long, even the ranged raid members began making the climb for the interior.

“There must be cores on the inside,” Tarisha said.  “And likely guardians as well.  I’m sorry, my lord, but it seems that most of this battle will take place out of view.”

Only a handful of the ranged damage dealers remained outside.  Pyromancers and stormlords; unable to deal significant damage due to their specialization.  They served a purpose, however, as I watched a team of unknown players come forward, only to be swiftly annihilated by the mages’ powerful spells.

Not all of the newcomers were killed, however.  Some of them were from <The Endolphins>, and the latecomers quickly joined in the raid, either climbing into the windows or taking a place in the vigil outside.  Frustrated that I could not see the events going on within the golem, I waited for something to change.

After twenty minutes, the warriors who had been inside the giant began leaping from the windows.  Minutes later, the giant golem began to crumble.  Father and Malkios leapt from the shoulders of the giant, having maintained their perch the entire time while avoiding its clumsy swipes at them.  It was over, and nobody had died.  At least, nobody who couldn’t return after a day; I was uncertain that the raiding parties had suffered no casualties while fighting out of my view.

“Will you bring me to my father now, Tarisha?” I asked.

“Give me the broadcast token for a moment, Lord Hail, and I shall announce us.  Now that the fight has ended favorably for them, they should be safe to approach, but they might be wary yet.”

I returned the stone charm to her, and she pressed it to her throat with one hand, holding the reins of the wyvern with the other.

“I am Tarisha of Miami, of the guild <Peasant’s Revenge>.  I am sworn sword to Earl Hail Jeoran.  I seek an audience with Gideon Lachlann of <The Endolphins>.  May we approach for parlay?” she said, her voice echoing through empty field of tents torn up by the golem’s brief rampage.

“We’re distributing loot right now, but you can approach,” came the echoing answer.  “Let her through, lads and lasses.  We have things to discuss.”

Tarisha landed her wyvern near the fallen golem.  I spotted my father in his silver armor, standing next to an oversized chest and holding up a large spiked mace.

“[Malkios’s Motivator].  Two-handed mace.  Damage rating of ess plus plus.  Eighty strength, ten vitality and endurance.  Minimum level one-seventy-five.  It’s a unique name, but we’ve all seen this item before.  Standard bidding starting at fifteen Dee Kay Pee,” My father said.

The raid was silent, then someone said “Oh hell I’ll take it just because the name is funnier than the one I have already.”

“It’s a shame Bob’s not here tonight, he’s been looking for that, but Are En Gee has been stingy lately,” Someone else said.

“Next up is a healer amulet --”

Father continued to speak nonsense as we dismounted.

“What is he saying?” I asked.

“They’re auctioning off the loot,” she explained.  “They use dee kay pee.  It’s an old system for loot distribution, and it has its problems.  But it checks out.”

The auction continued for some time as we worked our way through the crowd of talented raiders.  There were eight items that had dropped, and while nobody had wanted the two handed mace, the armor and accessories were fiercely contested.  There was even an epic version of [Malkios’s Spare Cloak] which went up to one-twenty dee kay pee.

While the auction was ongoing, I walked over to the ruins of the golem.  It hadn’t despawned.  I was uncertain whether it had been intelligent or not.  Whether it was darkspawn, or if it walked in the light of Thedum.  But I figured I’d let my god figure that out.  There was no way I could put the giant pile of stone into the funerary position, so I simply made the symbol of rebirth with my hands and gave it my blessing.

“May you return to the light of Thedum,” I said, completing the ritual.  The colossal ruins of the golem, once the western watch tower, burst into motes of white light and vanished, leaving behind holes where the stones had fallen.  I wondered if Thedum was going to make the watchtower into a shopkeeper as well.

When I turned around, the auction had fallen silent, and everyone was staring at me, many of them slack-jawed.

“Son, what did you just do?” Father asked.

“Oh, so now I’m your son!” I shouted.  “Now, after I do something cool, I’m your son!  Well screw you, Father, I’m not going to tell you what I just did.  That’s between me and Thedum.”

“Hail, I’m not really your father.  It’s just part of the story,” Giddeon said.  “I--”

“Actually, Hail’s seed consciousness does come from you, Giddeon,” Thomas the administrator’s voice said, and his body appeared from motes of blue light next to me.  “Hail may not be your biological child because he is not biological, but you are the closest thing he has to a father.  You signed a contract stating that you understood all of this when you married Analise.  I mean, did you even read it?”

“Who reads the You-la?” he asked.  “Wait, you’re saying you copied my consciousness?  You can do that?”

“It’s in the You-la.  Everyone’s you-la, dammit!” Thomas exclaimed.  “No, we can’t copy it or clone it because it falls apart the moment you disconnect!  But we can take a seed consciousness from you and develop it into its own entity.  A completely digital entity, of course.  Which is what Hail is.  We weren’t kidding when we called him your son.  We weren’t kidding when we told you that your simulated experience with Analise would result in a digital child.  It wasn’t just for the story, Giddeon.  Hail only exists because of the snippets of thoughts and memories and feelingswhich you contractually allowed us to copy and develop.”

“He has my memories?” Gideon asked, sounding … I don’t know what he sounded like.

“No,” Thomas said, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “It’s more like he started off as a collection of thoughts, images, feelings, and emotions which were borrowed from you.  But then you logged out, and something else continued to think the way that you did for a while.  But then it slowly changed the way that it thought.  We continued the stream of consciousness and attached it to a digital avatar of a young child.  That’s how Hail was born.  He doesn’t remember any of that, though.  If I had to guess, his first memory is probably playing in the castle courtyard and being scolded by his nurse when he was three years old or so.”

“How did you know that?” I asked.

“Because that’s when we gave your stream of consciousness long-term memory,” Thomas answered.  “Before that you were something like a goldfish.  It was necessary to make certain that you were your own individual and that no stray memories from Gideon remained.”

“And nobody thought to actually explain this to me beforehand?” father asked.

“It was in the goddamn contract you signed when you became a canon character, Gideon,” Thomas answered.  “We advised you to hire a lawyer to look over it.  We advised you to read it.  We advised you that it would be difficult and rewarding at the same time.  We told you that you would have a digital child and even asked you to name him!  It’s not our fault that you simply signed everything we put in front of you and left his name blank.”

“Holy shit,” Gideon said.  Then he shook his head.  “Well, it doesn’t change anything.  The one thing I do remember from that contract was that it specified I would not be held responsible for my digital child in any way, shape, or form.  I don’t want kids in the real world, and while I was okay with having a storybook kid in this world as long as it didn’t affect me, I’m not cut out to be a father to Hail.  It’s simply not in my Dee En Aye.”

“I don’t need you, anyway!” I shouted, angry that he was publicly rejecting me again.  “I’m a spellblade now, and part of a guild, and before long I’m going to be level two hundred and stronger than you!”  I would have kept going, but Tarisha covered my mouth with her hand.

“Lord Hail, do not say anything in anger that you do not wish the world to hear.  Because they are watching.”

I looked around, and there was an extensive audience of flying mounts watching, held back at some distance by the threat of the mages and archers of <The Endolphins>, but close enough to hear if I shouted.

“Look, Hail, I’m sorry.  I never wanted kids.  I’m still not sure if I’m understanding what the admin is saying or not, but if you’re actually conscious, then I am sort of sorry.  It’s just that like I said, I’m not cut out to be a father.  You’re better off without me,” my father said.

“This is stupid,” I said.  “I’m not going into the raid with you. I hate you!”

I ran off into the distance, and Tarisha chased after me.