70. Citizens’ Arrest.

The party of glorified messengers set out in high spirits at around the same time that Laurant, Phil, and the rest of the gang emerged from the constabulary’s holding cells slash dungeon.  Phil informed me that they had released all but five of the prisoners, keeping only the three men accused of murder and two more who, although they were not accused of anything heinous, would not swear that they would return to answer for the lesser crimes of which they were accused.  I had noticed the steady stream of released prisoners during the tournament, but hadn’t really given it much thought.

The yard remained crowded.  Along with the Travelers who were waiting around aimlessly, a number of the locals had come out to see the commotion.  Travelers and Natives alike were mingling, discussing the events of the day.  Some of the Natives were the recently freed prisoners reuniting with friends and family, while most had simply been drawn by the crowd.

At some point, I realized that everyone was sitting around and waiting to see what I was going to do next.  It was awkward, because I wasn’t quite certain what my next steps should be.  I needed to confront both the head constable and the steward, but I didn’t know where either of them were presently.  Aside from that, I needed to establish my personal residence, which would also be my seat of power in the shire.  That shouldn’t be difficult, as I could simply claim the previous lord’s mansion as my own.

After that, I would spend a few days holding court while my friends gathered intelligence on the Bandits.  Once they had helped me assess the size and scope of the bandit problem, we would band together and cleanse them from my lands.

But although I had overall goals to meet, I still felt very awkward when I realized how many eyes were one me.  Fortunately, it was about this time that a distraction emerged.

“For the last time you fat pig, no!  We are not going to bribe you!”  Sophia shouted.

“I’m simply saying that, as a young Traveler, I’m certain that you don’t want to spend the next few weeks waiting for the magistrate.  It would be much faster to simply pay the fine and the damages you caused, and we can overlook your vandalism,” a grubby voice answered.

“Shut up and take me to jail you ugly pervert,” she taunted.

The crowd turned towards the raised voices, parting to reveal a small group from <Ragtag Muffin> who were harassing an obese man in a constable’s uniform.  The uniform was slovenly, and the man was somewhat out of breath.  I thought, at first, that the Traveler children were harassing him, but then I noticed a few details.  For example, the fact that he was level eighty, and that the children were in shackles.  The fat constable, noticing the crowd for the first time, pulled off his hat and examined them with scorn.

“What in the seven hells is all of this then?” he demanded.

“Are you the head constable?” I demanded.

“I’m Constable Montague,” he said.  “Now who the hell authorized this gathering?  Crowds of more than five need a permit to--”

“You’re fired,” I said.  “Also you’re under arrest for corruption.”

The man bristled.  However, the system notified him when his [Job] changed from whatever it was to [Unemployed], or whatever it says when you get fired.  However, rather than immediately cringing and backing down as the desk attendant had earlier, he pulled himself up.  “Who the hell do you think you are!  You can’t just--”

“Oh sweet!  Quest complete!” Sophia exclaimed.  She pulled the shackles she had been wearing off, having apparently already picked the locks somehow.  “Hail, this guy is a total creep.  We found where he was hiding, like, an hour ago, but we couldn’t go inside the house because the stupid system says it’s an adult-only location and wouldn’t let us inside because we’re kids.  We didn’t want to get help from the adults because we wanted the credit for--”

Montague padded his pocket in surprise, and I realized I was wrong.  Sophia hadn’t picked the lock on her shackles, she had picked the key from his pocket.  She casually tossed it to one of her friends as she spoke, who began unlocking their own shackles.

“Now see here!” the constable began, but I turned him into a donkey.  I was a little surprised because usually [Polymorph] defaulted to smaller animals, but I suppose that he was a larger target than normal.  And it was also fitting, seeing as his new form seemed to fit his personality.

“--smashing the windows was my idea, but that wasn’t enough to get this jerk out of the brothel.  It was the smoke bombs finally did the trick.  But it wasn’t until we started actually attacking him that he finally seemed to want to arrest us, before that he just kept asking us for bribe money.  Even once he had us in chains he kept asking, like you saw, and he dragged his heels the entire way here,” Sophia continued, completely ignoring the jackasses commentary.

“Thank you for your efforts, Sophia, and the rest of you,” I said.  “Did you get anything good for the quest reward?”

She glanced at the others who had completed the quest with her, then at the crowd.  “I’ll tell you later,” she called, and then their group ran off.  She might have been intimidated by the size of the crowd, but I don’t think that was the reason for her sudden secrecy, considering that she hadn’t been bothered at all during the retelling of her and her friends’ exploits.  She wanted to keep the rewards confidential for some reason, which meant that they were probably more substantial than the reputation, gold, and experience which usually came from a quest.

They all ran back the way they had come from, and seemed excited about something.  Tarisha knelt forward and whispered “I think there’s a decent possibility that there is a follow up quest which they are now pursuing, My Lord.”

“Oh,” I said, and before I could contemplate that much further the [Polymorph] on the former constable broke, and he changed from a literal jackass to just a metaphorical one again.

“That’s it, I’ve had enough!” he declared, and he drew his weapon, a one handed mace.  The sound of almost a hundred travelers drawing their weapons or preparing their magics gave him a moment of pause.

I smirked.  He might be level eighty, which means that I couldn’t touch him myself, but he’d have to wade through a sea of bodies to get to me to avenge the indignity I’d shown him with my spell.

“Who the hell are you people?  What gives you the right to interfere with the authorized constable of this land?” he demanded.  “You’re all breaking the law!”

“No, they’re not.  You seem to have a very short memory.  Perhaps that’s why you needed to record all of your bribes and corruption in this ledger,” I said, pulling the incriminating document from my inventory with just a little bit of a flourish.  The moment Montague’s eyes fell on it, his face went pale with fear, then purple with anger.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, boy!” he shouted.

“That is no way to address Earl Hail Jeoran, Lord of North Shire!” Phil [Battle shouted], his voice booming throughout the crowded plaza.  I winced, wishing that he’d stop doing that.  It did, however, give the good constable a moment of pause, and it also seemed to affect the gathered Natives by filling them with some measure of confidence, where before they had been cringing away from the constable whenever he spoke or moved.

“I don’t believe it,” the constable said.  “I would have heard if the new lord was coming to this land!  This boy is an impostor!”

“I’m done with this,” I said, walking away.  “Can you guys just throw him in one of the jail cells for me?  Try not to kill him if you don’t have to, but if it happens, it will just save us time and money on the trial.”

“Quest Accepted!” the Travelers in the crowd cheered.  The sounds of combat exploded behind me, with the constable trying to rally the townspeople to his side.  I didn’t think that anyone would answer his calls.  Even if they did, I’d trust in my friends’ restraint.  I tuned it out, walking further into the town.

“Excuse me, which way is it to the Steward’s home?” I asked one of the Natives who was watching the brawl with wide open eyes.  She was a young woman with a babe in her arms, and she eagerly pointed further into the town, giving me directions and a description of the building I was seeking.

“Are you sure it’s wise to leave that up to mob justice?” Tarisha asked, following along behind me.  She wasn’t the only one following me, although most of my crowd had stayed to either watch or participate in the arrest of the constable.  Laurant, Thena, andLarissa, were right there with us.  Phil had stayed behind, and for a moment I wondered why.  Then I remembered that he had the key to the cells in the constabulary, so his presence was probably necessary to actually lock Montague away.  A few other Travelers had decided that whatever I was going to do next was more interesting as well, and they were trailing along behind us at a polite distance.

“I really don’t care,” I said.  “He’s probably going to hang in a few weeks.  If the others have to rough him up to get him in a cell, well, I’m sure that he’s beaten plenty of innocent citizens who were ‘resisting arrest’ or some nonsense.  I mean, it’s not like he’s a worldboss or something, is it?”

“No, I suppose at worst he’s a named elite,” Tarisha agreed.

“I think that you have just insulted every rare spawn in this world by comparing them to Constable Montague,” I commented.  She chuckled, and we bantered a bit as we strode into the rich part of town.  Our target was, unsurprisingly, the largest building we had seen so far excluding the constabulary itself, and perhaps the Temple, which was nearby.

I slammed the knocker against the door impatiently, wishing that Phil hadn’t stayed behind so that he could ‘announce me’ again.  It wasn’t strictly proper, but it would no doubt make an impression with the occupants of the building.  After I had knocked, I waited patiently.  For ten seconds, then I continued knocking for another five minutes before someone finally answered.

I was about to ask one of my friends to kick the door in, again wishing that Phil was here so that the [Warrior] could do the honors for me, when it was opened by a geriatric woman.  She frowned at me, and began to berate me for the noise and disturbance I had caused, and for just a second I felt abashed.

“I am Earl Hail Jeoran,” I said, interrupting her tirade.  “I’m here to see the steward of my lands.  I have a number of questions about how things have been run while North Shire was in the care of the crown, and--”

She began laughing.  “Oh, I knew this day would come!  I knew it!  String him high, when its time!  Never saw what my daughter saw in him, no I didn’t.  Always knew he was good for nothing!  He’s in the study!  This way, this way!”

As though a flip had been switched, the old woman – apparently the steward’s mother in law, brought us into the house.  It was too small of a house to be called a mansion, but large enough that we had to pass through several rooms and hallways to reach our destination.  Along the way she regaled us with all of her son in law’s failings, most of which seemed to consist of not being good enough for her her daughter and otherwise lacking any moral fiber.

“Arkan! Oh Arkan, you have guests!” she called as she opened the door to the study.

“Not now!  I’m busy!  I need to finish reviewing the finances before the new Lord arrives and--”

“I’m afraid you have run out of time for that,” I said, stepping into the room.  “Because I’m right here.”