Jonathan Rosenberg

The Nominee

 shortly after confirmation the other eight justices went missing 

Don't forget: 2020-10-01 17:00:31 +0000 UTC View Post

The Adjudication Squad vs. Cruel Multiverse Syndrome

White Batman is a dick.

We've got *NEW* enamel bunnies pins and SFAM books in stock! Check it: 2020-09-23 16:29:35 +0000 UTC View Post

Team Force Alpha: Depression Pals

Hey there patrons! Just wanted to let you know about some changes I'm making around here.

From now on, the bonus monthly comic will be TEAM FORCE ALPHA, a semiautobiographical comic I've been drawing for SFAM installments for a few years now...

Full Disclosure

 we’re fucked 

RumbleBeasts 002: Rotterdam

 Welcome to the second installment of my new premium Patreon feature, RumbleBeasts! RumbleBeasts are the adorable, trainable fighting pets you keep in your balls. They are definitely not Pokemon, just ask our lawyers. 

Rotterdam is...

RumbleBeasts 001: Fungible

Welcome to my new premium Patreon feature, RumbleBeasts! RumbleBeasts are the adorable, trainable fighting pets you keep in your balls. They are definitely not Pokemon, not even a little.

Fungible here is the first  RumbleBeast! Fungibl...

Gross Encounters

That guy is a real person from the real world, the dialogue in the first panel is verbatim what I heard him say in the supermarket checkout line. Those are the clothes he was wearing. That is his real hair. 

2020-08-05 08:19:02 +0000 UTC View Post

Master of All Elements

I am looking forward to Netflix’s live action adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender, a retelling of the beloved classic with none of the words, voice acting or animation that made the original so charming.

I have attached the full, unfl...

Tier Rewards

Hey y'all. I'm in the middle of rejiggering the tier rewards but before I do that I want to make sure I'm all caught up on the rewards you're already owed.

Please let me know if you're due an ebook or original strip art.  Also if anyone...

A Letter On Justice And Open Debate

 shut the fuck up graham 

Faster and Faster

 mist of quarks is my favorite sigourney weaver film 

Goats Book 4 Kickstarter Address Finalization

Hey! Just posting this for any of you who may have been a backer for the Goats 4 Kickstarter but haven't gotten your rewards yet. Please fill out this form and let us know if your address has changed so we can *finally* make sure you get your stuf...

Harry Potter and the Poorly Chosen Career

 “vaginas are extremely real,” muttered JK’s self-insert to nobody in particular

Second Responders

 butt doctor, I am pagliacci 

fuck the police

Encounter At The Taco Bell

This is an entirely partially true story that happened to me at the Taco Bell. Edited for length and entertainment value. Enjoy.

2020-05-26 23:29:31 +0000 UTC View Post

Bunnies Distancing

It's bunnies.

Press Griefing

 everybody knows a snake tricked the bible guy, right? and that takes brains 

Animal Distancing

Timmy and Tommy are creepy as fuck. I'm sorry, they are.

Reality Show

That's all folks

Solidarity Class

 democracy is important right up until it becomes slightly inconvenient

The Virus

but then a magic pony appeared and everyone received adequate medical care at a fair and reasonable price without overtaxing the system and survived happily ever after. the end

2020-03-17 07:38:04 +0000 UTC View Post

Negative Results

 wash your hands, meatbags 

Sloth

 sloth 2: killing time coming to a theater near you, eventually, some day in the far future 

Bird Guy’s Burden

 ha ha just kidding you’ll be wide awake when it happens 

2020-01-08 04:12:55 +0000 UTC View Post

JK Rowling and the League of Disappointing Authors

Actually the saddest six words in english are “baby shoes. I came in those” 

Merry Christmas! See you all back here next year. Thanks for making it all possible, as always. 

2019-12-24 03:17:22 +0000 UTC View Post

The Mandatory Fun

 baby yoda died on the way back to his home planet 

If you're looking for holiday presents, don't wait!  Shipping deadlines are imminent. 

2019-12-16 18:27:57 +0000 UTC View Post

Super-Relatable Man

Not many people know that kryptonite is only the second most toxic thing Superman can be exposed to.

Epic MegaHaiku SeptupleFest '19

We're catching up all at once on backburnered haiku. Here's seven of them. Strap in. Here we go.

if you give a mouse

a cookie that mouse will want

socialist reforms

it will take its prize

deep ...

Dark Reflector #3: The Hack

Welcome to another installment of Dark Reflector, our scary anthology series about the badness of tech and how bad it is. On a scale from one to ten, it's insidious.

These bonus comics are free for all patrons until I get caught up on what I...

Dark Reflector #2: The Invention

Welcome to another installment of Dark Reflector, our scary anthology series about the badness of tech and how bad it is. It's pretty bad. 

These bonus comics are free for all patrons until I get caught up on what I owe you all, just li...