tedsteel

2.14 - Pieces of Silver

14.

I turned back from the window and plastered a smile on my face. Everything would be all right! It was a cold smile though. I wasn't sure I believed it.

"Max," said Emma, with the exact right amount of concern. "Are you o...

2.13 - Complaints

13.

After my shower, I went for lunch with Cutter. All very civilised. I asked him about his footballing philosophy and how he'd assembled such a good team. He asked about my footballing history, I told him I had none, and he typed my name i...

2.12 - Challenge

12.

"Max," said Cutter. "You're interested in our drills, yeah? Do you want to have a go from the inside?"

"Absolutely," I said.

He scanned the pattern of the cones and said the transition drills were over and they wer...

2.11 - Transitions

11.

Football glossary: transition. The chaotic period where an attacking team loses the ball and the defending team becomes the attacking team.

***

Friday, 11th November

It was a two and a quarter hour drive to Darlington, ...

2.10 - Chat Shit Get Banged

[Mega double chapter! Put the kettle on!]

10.

Football glossary: Chat Shit Get Banged. In 2011, long before he shot Leicester City to their 5000-1 Premier League victory, non-league striker Jamie Vardy was mocked ...

2.9 - Change

9.

MD fucked off with good grace.

I stood, picked up the marker pen, and went to the window.

I watched the match for a few moments. I was partly giving MD time to get out of earshot, partly giving myself tim...

2.8 - A Prisoner's Dilemma

8.

Wednesday, 9th November

The outskirts of Chester. The UK headquarters of a small but international credit card company.

I was in the temporary office of Chester FC's 72-year-old manager, Ian Evans. There was this weird sense o...

2.7 - Betamax

7.

The changing room, the showers, my first time with professional players, seen, heard, and smelt through a gauzy Instagram filter. Hazy, distant, weak. There was banter, joking, oneupsmanship, but even though I felt disembodied ...

2.6 - And Again

6.

Football Glossary: 'And again!' A shout from one participant to another meaning 'do that one more time, please, would you, good sir?' or 'please complete the action that I have started'. For example, a coach might use this p...

2.5 - Diamond Geezer

5.

30 minutes until the end of my trial.

You're caught in a snare. You need something sharp to cut your way out.

Your friends need to show off, but they're looking a bit drab. A bit dowdy. You need to dress them up and...

2.4 - Two Touch

4.

Football glossary: Two Touch. A type of game (usually a training sesh) where players are only allowed to touch the ball twice. Controlling the ball counts as one touch, and the subsequent pass or shot is the second touch. Once ...

2.3 - Max's Misfits

3.

Ian Evans gave me ten minutes to organise my team. My guys grabbed luminous yellow bibs and then formed a loose huddle in our half of the pitch. As Raffi went to grab his, Shona called out to him, 'Why you playing a match?' He ...

2.2 - Ian Evans

2.

Raffi picked me up and we drove to Chester. He was excited; I was nervous. I was a bag of nerves. There was so much riding on this one morning!

We arrived at Chester's training ground - literally a business park ...

2.1 - Scouting Max Best

...

Season 2022/23 - The Second Half

Recap

Max Best has been cursed with the ability to see the attributes of football players. He gains experience points by watching live football matches and can spend XP to u...

1.71 - Home to Roost

71.

When I say ‘next’ I don’t mean the next ten minutes of the match, because they were fairly mediocre. I was concentrating, gathering XP, checking the match ratings and the commentary and all the other things. By the way, ...

1.70 - Planting Seeds

70.

Mike Dean had a good time, by his standards a legendary night on the tiles, until it was home o'clock, at which point he realised he'd have to spend the night in Moss Side. You'd think that would sober him up, but no. Even tho...

1.69 - The Promised Land

69.

What's the busiest train station in the world? I'm not sure what Trivial Pursuit would say, but the real answer is: my head. Hundreds of trains of thought departing in all directions.

Director of Football! I'd be in char...

Helpul Links

I'll be putting links and epub files and stuff in here to make it easier to find where you are up to etc etc.

Brand New? (Plus Jump Links)

The current schedule is chapters on Mon-Wed-Fri. T1 and T2 Patrons will find ne...

1.68 - Maxy No-Thumbs

68.

I was early. I'd brought the crutches because I'd told Mike Dean that I was still using them. And I was, sometimes. But at about 10 AM I'd gotten a notification that Chester FC had sent me 170 pounds. 60 for the petrol, 10 for...

1.67 - Next Stop Vegas

67.

I wasn't allowed into the changing rooms after the match, and wouldn't have wanted to be there. So I texted Ziggy a string of ball emojis followed by a string of goal! emojis.

Then I went to the bookies to collect my win...

1.66 - Celebrations

[You want a mega double chapter to help you through the weekend? You got it!]

66.

Thursday was fine. My ankle was much better and the black eye was no longer sore when I touched it. I celebrated by eating...

1.65 - Duels

65.

Tuesday night, home late, few hours sleep, up bright and early for work on Wednesday. Or since this was England in the autumn, up dark and early. Around lunch I got a text from my former assistant.

Henri Lyons...

1.64 - Boston United

64.

Back to life. Back to reality. Back to the daily grind at the call centre. Another day, another dollar. All my illusions of progress were shattered by my first inbound call of the day. Another hundred to go. The ego-smashing m...

1.63 - Ryan Reynolds

63.

Once the kids had turned away, I picked up my crutches and checked my pockets for my phone and keys.

"Henri, we're leaving."

"Excuse-moi? Why that?"

"I've been sacked."

"Sacked? When?"

"J...

1.62 - Fired Up

62.

Mike, Benny, Henri, Spectrum, and I moved to a sparsely populated area. “Benny,” I said. “I don’t get it. The others are being led astray by their parents. Yours aren’t even here. What the…” Four men surrounding ...

1.61 - Twelve Angry Men

61.

The referee blew for half-time with the score still nil-nil.

Seeing all the kids walk towards our technical area raised my pulse a few bpm. I had to give them a team talk that not only motivated them but used as much tim...

1.60 - Bros Before Pros

60.

In the seconds after I hauled off the 4 rebel players, a lot of thoughts went through my head:

• The Bench Boost perk would be nerfed in this match, since the only substitute on the pitch was Future.
• I didn'...
  2022-12-03 23:16:09 +0000 UTC View Post

1.59 - One For The Future

59.

Most football formations are symmetrical. Some are quite pleasant to look at. 3-4-3 is more aesthetic than 5-3-2. Even just visually, 4-2-4 is as thrilling as 4-5-1 is depressing.

3-5-2 is what you'd get if you bought a ...

1.58 - Broughton Under 14s

58.

We got there shortly after kick-off. A guy was expecting us. He was in a Chester tracksuit, was very young for a coach (25 years, 39 days, according to the curse, which was back in full operation), and wore glasses, which was ...

1.57 - Johnny Winger

57.

With 5 minutes to go till half-time, I threw on the remaining substitutes, bringing off John, the skilful striker, Zoe, the hearing-impaired cyberpunk midfielder, and Scrappy, the other midfielder whose ball striking had drawn...